Tonight we discussed "Pope Joan" at book club. We had an interesting conversation on women. Before becoming a Stay at Home Mom, I knew what I wanted: I wanted to be a Stay at Home Mom. That was the goal. I knew it would be a lot of work and that I wouldn't have a lot of time for myself. I knew the days were filled with doing laundry, negotiating 2-year-olds, and over-tired babies. Yet, I think I expected to feel so much different while doing these tasks. (Not to mention, I thought I'd be good at it all!)
Surprise, surprise. This feels way different. Not all bad, of course, just different.
One of the women at book club said she read something about mother's expecting to feel 100% fulfilled, 100% of the time. I've been thinking about that....I think I've expected to have some sort of warm, fuzzy, motherly feeling. And once in a while I do -- when I'm reading a book with Andrew, or making Eric laugh. But I must admit that most of the time I feel tired. Very, very tired.
And surprise, surprise....Eric has woken up (10 hours too early.) He must have sensed my contemplative, feel-sorry-for myself mood and is going to distract me from it.
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